Branching out, Magic 8 ball

I actually shared a link to this blog on Twitter.  It is a step closer to me being totally ok with myself and what I write.  I figured Twitter was pretty safe cuz while it is out there for all to see, the chances of it actually catching attention is pretty low.  Facebook would be another story...and possibly a next step but for now, I will stick with Twitter.

Will I forget I have done this in about an hour and start ranting again?  Magic 8 ball says 'it is certain'.  If Magic 8 ball says it, clearly it is true ;-)

I wonder if I can find a magic 8 ball to put on here?  I had one a long time ago on another blog so surely I can.  Who doesn't love magic 8 ball?  C'mon.

I need to pay more attention to the bands my kids listen to cuz....

.....this guy is hot.  I am SO FAR out of Avenge Sevenfold's "demographic" but I already thought they were a pretty good band (you should hear some of the crap my kids listen to...ooph) and now to see this guy?  Holy cow.  Who knew - probably a bazillion teenage girls but hey, I at least I figured it out too.

How did I discover this?  'That Metal Show'.  Thank you, Eddie Trunk.  LOL

VD(ay) and other atrocities

I shared with a friend of many years last night that seeing Valentine's Day stuff makes me really unhappy. REALLY. UNHAPPY.  Of course she asked why and my answer was that it is just a sad reminder of some things that aren't that great.  It was an honest answer.  It reminds me that I'm not "coupled" and again, I embrace being single most of the time but there are other times when it is a bummer.  I'm human.  It also reminds me of a situation that I wish was different; however, you cannot force feelings.  I get it.  I also cannot flip my feelings off/on like a switch.  If I could, they would not be real.  RIGHT?  Right.  

Considering my propensity for making really (REALLY) bad romantic choices/decisions, this is not as bad as it may seem.  Trust me on that one.  Is it a stop on my path?  Maybe.  Will it turn a little more serious in time?  Maybe, but maybe not.  I understand the odds are not in my favor here. 1)  Male. 2) One previous marriage to an absolute heinous, no soul having wretched, wretched bitch - a bitch of the most heinous kind as she practically ruined a great, thoughtful guy.  There is no adequate level of contempt for women like that but...I digress.  3) Commitment is feared on a level that even makes ME look not commitment phobic at all.  Dudes. What can ya do? (yes, I know chicks have their own issues.  Duh, but this is my blog so..well, you know)  The important thing is that I recognize and acknowledge realistically and not try to justify things that I know aren't for me.  Ahhh, progress. 

I will say this - you cannot, in my opinion (disclaimer), have a truly healthy relationship with anyone until you can have one with yourself.  Learn and live autonomously, draw on your inner strength and find out what makes you tick.  How can you possibly know what you want/don't want in another person if you don't know who you really are - the good, the bad, the ugly and the awesome?! I learned this finally (FINALLY!) but it took me way longer than it should have.  Better late than never though.  

I am tempted to go dig up a blog entry from a few years ago....oy, I'd cringe.  The amount of justification I was doing for really crappy behavior will be astounding.  

Upward and onward, folks.   

Lyrics O'The Day

Today, I want to share a whole song.  I'm not huge into country music but I really like the lyrics to this song.  In fact, I wrote them in a book I made for my daughter.

Song: I Hope You Dance
Artist: Lee Ann Womack
source for lyrics: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/leeannwomack/ihopeyoudance.html 

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
GOD forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance, 
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance. 

Dance....I hope you dance. 
I hope you dance....I hope you dance. 
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.. 
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along 
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone)

Lyrics O'The Day

Wake me up when its all over
When I'm wiser and I'm older
All this time I was finding myself
And I didnt know I was lost

From the song 'wake me up'...no idea who sings it :)

Tuesday

Havent posted in a little while so I’m kinda falling down on the job but what can ya do?  I’ve been working crazy hours, my insomnia has been ridiculous…blah blah blah.  Whatever.

Had my niece’s baby shower this past weekend, it was great.  It is REAL now.  To protect her privacy I will not go into the situation much but the twins she is about to have – NEXT WEEK – are miracles.  Straight up.  I cannot wait to meet them! 

It was really nice to see my sister and her family as well.  It had been way too long.  I need to do a better job of keeping up with the important folks in life.  It is easy for months to pass quickly and then you realize you haven’t talked to or seen ppl important to you, it sucks.  I suck.  Gotta do better with that stuff. 

Is it too early to mention that I am already dreading Valentine’s Day?  Sure it is a goofy, commercial holiday…no argument.  I dread it cuz it just reminds me that I don’t have a ‘Valentine’.  How important is this in relation to life in general?  Not much but it is a chick thing, what can I say?  Ugh.  You know, this will only cause me angst if I let it.  I cannot give this vday stuff any power.  That easy, right?  Riiight. 

Nothing else I want to write. 

Weekend

A string of 12-14 hr work days plus very little sleep = sleeping just about all of Saturday and late into Sunday morning. I had things I needed to do this weekend but did none of them cuz I had some serious exhaustion going on and I hit the wall. I feel like I caught up on sleep but now it is bedtime on Sunday night and I am wide awake. I cant do another week like last week so lets hope the cycle is not starting again.

E's team won their game today so that is good, they needed the win. I hope they can build on the progress shown today. I like to watch her play, it never ceases to amaze me how well she handles high pressure situations that I wouldve never been able to do at her age.

I was able to catch the two new episodes of 'Girls' tonight. I love/hate that show, will explain that one another day. 'Shameless' started back tonight too. I love that show. I may watch it if I dont get sleepy soon.

What other random things can I ramble about here? Hmmm...I know, I will just do a random list of things..whatever comes to mind. Why not?

1) Energy drinks are BAD for you, dont drink them. And for sure dont let your kids drink them. Seriously, bad!
2) You hear some really interesting stuff when your daughter plays on a boys hockey team. Example: a discussion about what could be used to protect your junk if you forget your jock - a shoe, puck, tshirt, can of coke....no, I am not kidding. I heard this and then heard my daughter say "a shoe? Really?" Hockey kids, gotta love 'em!
3) I need to try harder to overcome my absolute lack of interest in being social. It is actually not lack of interest, it is lack of energy to be totally honest. Either way, gotta try harder. Isolation is not good for anyone.
4) I think I have seen just about every episode of 'Law & Order'.
5) I know I have seen every episode of 'Friends'...multiple times.
6) Massages freak me out. (I know, I am weird)

Thankfully, I am starting to feel sleepy. If I go to sleep right now, I will get...7 hrs of sleep. Go.

100 Things

I have not done this in forever so figured I'd take a stab at it.

No particular order, mainly just as they pop into my noggin

1)      I have 2 kids, one boy & one girl

2)      I have been a single parent for most of my parenting years

3)      I have been a parent for my entire adult life

4)      I am a proud native Texan

5)      I think Freedom of Speech should be protected for all. You can’t choose who has it and who doesn’t.

6)      I believe in God and pray every single night before I go to bed

7)      I think your religious beliefs are your personal business.  I won’t force mine on you and you should not force yours on me.

8)      Religious freedom should apply to ALL, not just ones that fit an agenda

9)      There are few things I think the federal government should be involved in; less is more

10)   My favorite sport is hockey (total hockey junkie)

11)   My two favorite hockey teams are the Stars and Flyers

12)   I’m not just a hockey mom, I am a goalie mom (yes, there is a difference)

13)   I don’t want to watch ‘Sister Wives’ but I do…every week and so does my daughter haha

14)   I have seen the movie and read the book ‘The Outsiders’ so many times that I can still recite almost the entire first page of the book and most of the movie

15)   I love the movie ‘Talladega Nights: The Legend of Ricky Bobby’ but do not get the allure of NASCAR at all…well, unless there is a crash and explosions…then I get it. 

16)   I drink about a pitcher of ice tea every day

17)   I hate the taste of coffee

18)   I may be the only Texan who hates Dr. Pepper

19)   I use to blog anonymously and while doing so, shared info about myself and my family that I have never told another human being. It was nice to unload it but it still freaked me out a bit

20)   Aca-scuse me? I love the movie ‘Pitch Perfect’…duh, who doesn’t?

21)   I have seen The Ramones live

22)   I have been to 8 countries not counting the US

23)   I have been to 48 of the 50 states

24)   One of the reasons I went into IT was because someone told me I could not do it.  I make more than they do now. Bam!

25)   If you tell me I cannot do something (as in not able to) I am going to do all I can to prove you wrong just for spite (see #24)

26)   I have been in IT for 16 years; 11 of those years doing consulting (as of 2014)

27)   I love consulting because with each new project you get new people, location, challenges, etc.  I like the change

28)   Sometimes I work too much

29)   One of my favorite things to do is hang out with the kids and watch movies and hope they will continue to do this for many years.  As they get older and get their own families, we’ll just expand the gathering

30)   I am far more critical of myself than anyone could ever be

31)   I probably watch too much of the Investigation Discovery channel

32)   I like to watch ‘Gone With The Wind’ because it reminds me of my nana, mom and sister

33)   My hair has a mind of its own.  Sometimes we agree, sometimes we don’t

34)   I have flown a plane (if you know me, this should scare you)

35)   I do not play matchmaker very often but I have a 100% success rate

36)   It took me well into my 30s before I was truly comfortable with who I am

37)   I support the 2^nd amendment (duh, Texan.)

38)   I am a monthly supporter of the ASPCA

39)   I don’t think sexual orientation is a choice

40)   I don’t want to see big public displays of affection from anyone regardless of color, gender, etc.

41)   I support same sex marriage.  Why deny anyone the joy of divorce? 

42)   I think discriminating against and/or treating any human different simply based on things they have no control over (race, gender, sexual orientation, etc) is dumb.  Like/dislike someone for who they are, what they are about and/or their character…not stupid crap they have no control over.  There are crappy people of every flavor, nobody has the market share on being a douchebag. Well…haha just kidding

43)   I have mastered something that is very difficult for most people and I’m quite proud of it – I do not speak out of anger.  I may walk away, may string together an impressive group of bad words and I may even scream into a pillow but I can tell you that 99.99% of the time I do not speak out of anger because I don’t want to regret something dumb simply due to lack of self control

44)   I say what I mean and mean what I say.  Everyone should try it.  Remember, ripping the band-aid off quickly may hurt at first but then it is over.  Slowly tearing it off prolongs the pain unnecessarily

45)   I’m only on #45? Good grief this is difficult… ok, #45 - I don’t like onions

46)   The smell of raw onions makes me gag

47)   I swear way too much

48)   I have family members who think I am a snob *yawn*

49)   I like to watch shows and read books about conspiracy theories

50)   I do not think Lee Harvey Oswald was the “lone gunman”

51)   I have been to Lee Harvey Oswald’s gravesite…alleged gravesite, that is

52)   I do not like ketchup. Gross.

53)   I love my dog more than most people

54)   I believe in ghosts

55)   I believe in the possibility of life beyond this one small rock that revolves around the sun

56)   One of the best concerts I’ve ever seen was Stevie Wonder

57)   I want to go to Iceland…err I will go to Iceland some day

58)   By nature I am introverted but my job requires me to be extroverted.

59)   I often want to be extroverted but at my core, I am not.

60)   I am terrible about doing crap like getting my oil changed, renewing registration, inspection, etc…

61)   I tried online dating once several years ago  #epicfail

62)   It makes me laugh every time I hashtag  #hashtag!

63)   I am an Aries

64)   I try really hard to still believe that true love exists.  Some days are easier than others

65)   I’ve been on a flight where an emergency landing was needed – an engine caught fire. A couple of hours later, we all re-boarded the same plane and finished the journey to DFW.  Yep, same plane.

66)   I hated the movie ‘Titanic’, the ship sinks…did not need almost 3 hours to tell that story

67)   I would make a great marriage/relationship counselor

68)   My youngest graduates high school in 2017

69)   I will not handle that well…fair warning

70)   My oldest will be 21 in 2014.

71)   I will not handle that well either

72)   I strive to be the parent(s) I did not have

73)   I fought e-readers for a long time…then I got a Kindle Fire…greatest thing ever!

74)   I am in favor of capital punishment, some crimes are “game over” offenses

75)   One of my favorite quotes is: whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you are right

76)   I have to force myself to leave the house sometimes

77)   I love going to aquariums

78)   I believe in Karma 100%

79)   I don’t like people in my personal space unless they have been clearly invited

80)   I have been called an instigator several times over the years haha

81)   I am fluent in sarcasm

82)   If you don’t “get” sarcasm, I’m not gonna “get” you

83)   I think we get messages when we need them, it is up to us to pay attention

84)   I want to skydive some day

85)   I am super bummed out that I cannot ride roller coasters anymore due to a neck injury

86)   I spent my 30^th bday in Cancun with a great friend of mine and it was probably one of the most fun bdays I’ve ever had

87)   I’ve thrown several surprise parties but I have never had one thrown for me…that whole anti-social thing likely comes into play here

88)   I collected baseball cards as a kid and still have them

89)   Corey Taylor could sing the phone book and I’d buy it

90)   I remember when “google” was not a verb

91)   I need to embrace life more and not feel guilty about “me time”

92)   I need a make-over but not sure how to get that started

93)   I did not know unconditional love until I had kids

94)   Anxiety sometimes rears its ugly head at very inconvenient times

95)   Hipsters amuse me

96)   omg…96..so close…yet so far.  Alright, #96… I could eat Mexican food every day.  Every. Single. Day.

97)   I want to be crafty and make cool stuff but… I’m not and I don’t

98)   I hate to cook but when I do cook, it usually comes out pretty good

99)   I am not just proud to be a Texan, I am proud to be Southern

100) Yes, I am a Republican who is not racist or homophobic nor do I want to force any beliefs on anyone AND supports same-sex marriage  We do exist.  Don’t assume, folks. Ass-u-me, you know the drill.

DONE!! 

20 Meditation Tips For Beginners

I found this online and wanted to share for anyone who may also be interested in meditation.

Source: http://zenhabits.net/meditation-for-beginners-20-practical-tips-for-quieting-the-mind/

Meditation is the art of focusing 100% of your attention in one area. The practice comes with a myriad of well-publicized health benefits including increased concentration, decreased anxiety, and a general feeling of happiness.

Although a great number of people try meditation at some point in their lives, a small percentage actually stick with it for the long-term. This is unfortunate, and a possible reason is that many beginners do not begin with a mindset needed to make the practice sustainable.

The purpose of this article is to provide 20 practical recommendations to help beginners get past the initial hurdles and integrate meditation over the long term:

1) Make it a formal practice. You will only get to the next level in meditation by setting aside specific time (preferably two times a day) to be still.

2) Start with the breath. Breathing deep slows the heart rate, relaxes the muscles, focuses the mind and is an ideal way to begin practice.

3) Stretch first. Stretching loosens the muscles and tendons allowing you to sit (or lie) more comfortably. Additionally, stretching starts the process of “going inward” and brings added attention to the body.

4) Meditate with Purpose. Beginners must understand that meditation is an ACTIVE process. The art of focusing your attention to a single point is hard work, and you have to be purposefully engaged!

5) Notice frustration creep up on you. This is very common for beginners as we think “hey, what am I doing here” or “why can’t I just quiet my damn mind already”. When this happens, really focus in on your breath and let the frustrated feelings go.

6) Experiment. Although many of us think of effective meditation as a Yogi sitting cross-legged beneath a Bonzi tree, beginners should be more experimental and try different types of meditation. Try sitting, lying, eyes open, eyes closed, etc.

7) Feel your body parts. A great practice for beginning meditators is to take notice of the body when a meditative state starts to take hold. Once the mind quiets, put all your attention to the feet and then slowly move your way up the body (include your internal organs). This is very healthy and an indicator that you are on the right path.

8) Pick a specific room in your home to meditate. Make sure it is not the same room where you do work, exercise, or sleep. Place candles and other spiritual paraphernalia in the room to help you feel at ease.

9) Read a book (or two) on meditation. Preferably an instructional guide AND one that describes the benefits of deep meditative states. This will get you motivated. John Kabat-Zinn’s Wherever You Go, There You Are is terrific for beginners.

10) Commit for the long haul. Meditation is a life-long practice, and you will benefit most by NOT examining the results of your daily practice. Just do the best you can every day, and then let it go!

11) Listen to instructional tapes and CDs.

12) Generate moments of awareness during the day. Finding your breath and “being present” while not in formal practice is a wonderful way to evolve your meditation habits.

13) Make sure you will not be disturbed. One of the biggest mistakes beginners make is not insuring peaceful practice conditions. If you have it in the back of your mind that the phone might ring, your kids might wake, or your coffee pot might whistle than you will not be able to attain a state of deep relaxation.

14) Notice small adjustments. For beginning meditators, the slightest physical movements can transform a meditative practice from one of frustration to one of renewal. These adjustments may be barely noticeable to an observer, but they can mean everything for your practice.

15) Use a candle. Meditating with eyes closed can be challenging for a beginner. Lighting a candle and using it as your point of focus allows you to strengthen your attention with a visual cue. This can be very powerful.

16) Do NOT Stress. This may be the most important tip for beginners, and the hardest to implement. No matter what happens during your meditation practice, do not stress about it. This includes being nervous before meditating and angry afterwards. Meditation is what it is, and just do the best you can at the time.

17) Do it together. Meditating with a partner or loved one can have many wonderful benefits, and can improve your practice. However, it is necessary to make sure that you set agreed-upon ground rules before you begin!

18) Meditate early in the morning. Without a doubt, early morning is an ideal
time to practice: it is quieter, your mind is not filled with the usual clutter, and there is less chance you will be disturbed. Make it a habit to get up half an hour earlier to meditate.

19) Be Grateful at the end. Once your practice is through, spend 2-3 minutes feeling appreciative of the opportunity to practice and your mind’s ability to focus.

20) Notice when your interest in meditation begins to wane. Meditation is
hard work, and you will inevitably come to a point where it seemingly does not fit into the picture anymore. THIS is when you need your practice the most and I recommend you go back to the book(s) or the CD’s you listened to and become re-invigorated with the practice. Chances are that losing the ability to focus on meditation is parallel with your inability to focus in other areas of your life!

Meditation is an absolutely wonderful practice, but can be very difficult in the beginning. Use the tips described in this article to get your practice to the next level!

2014, day 4

Day 4 of the new year. So far so good. I have installed blogger on my phone so I can blog anywhere, anytime.

Is this a good idea? Probably not but we shall see :) 

Thoughts for today...
1) angry orchard cider is very good
2) why are people willing to blindly believe things so quickly? does anyone think for themselves anymore?
3) the kindle fire could be one of the greatest inventions ever
4) spotify is for sure one of the best things ever
5) got a book on meditation for beginners, really looking forward to starting a new routine

All for today. :)

Men's US Hockey Team

Ok so as they were announcing the US Men's Olympic team, I noticed a few...well, omissions.  The biggest "omission" was Bobby Ryan.

WHAT THE F*CK?!

How is Bobby Ryan NOT on the Olympic roster?!

Here are the forwards on the roster:

David Backes F
Dustin Brown F
Ryan Callahan F
Patrick Kane F
Ryan Kesler F
Phil Kessel F
T.J. Oshie   F
Max Pacioretty F
Zach Parise F
Joe Pavelski F
Paul Stastny F
Derek Stepan F
James van Riemsdyk F
Blake Wheeler F

(full roster is here -->  http://olympics.usahockey.com/page/show/1067902-roster)

Ummm shall I go with the top 5 Fs I would give up for Bobby Ryan or should I just say there are only a few that I would not cut to add BRyan?!

20 Workout & Fitness Crazes To Try In 2014

WebMD's Suggested Workouts and Fitness Crazes for 2014

Most people have "get fit" or "lose weight" as a resolution/goal for each year so here is a helpful link to WebMD's list of workouts for men & women to try this year. This completes my first PSA of 2014.

Jan 1, 2014

For new years eve, I stayed home and watched some hockey and some Modern Family (love, love, love MOFY!) while E was at a party. She has more of a social life than I do, no question. I want to be a bit more social this year. I work from home so I'm here all day, every day. Working from home certainly has its perks but it is also very easy to let the line between work and personal life blur if not completely fade away. I work a lot more hours when I work from home than when I work in an office but honestly, going to the same office every day with the same exact people slowly drives me insane. I love consulting because once a project is done, you move on to another one which means a new customer, new resources and sometimes a new industry to learn more about so I enjoy the fact that it is not the same thing all the time.

Ah...I derailed a bit as I had started down the want to be more social path and ended up talking about work. Anyway...I sometimes have to force myself to get out and go do things. It is not that I don't want to go do stuff but I guess I just got in the habit of not really doing anything that was not directly related to one of the kids. I think it was Icepacolpyse that really made me realize I cannot be a hermit. I did not (could not, too dangerous cuz if I fell that soon after neck surgery...well, it would not have been good) leave the house for FOUR DAYS. Having the option to leave but not doing it is one thing but not really having the option to leave super sucks and I got some serious cabin fever. It pretty much made me realize I should be thankful I am able to get out of the house and stop being so anti-social. We'll see how that works out.

First "goal" to bite the dust for 2014? Less swearing. Of course watching the Winter Classic is really not the best situation for me to go cold turkey hahaha Oh well, 364 more days in this year so I'm sure I can reduce the swearing....after hockey season :) Pretty sure my neighbors think I finally snapped cuz I did start out yelling out random words instead of swearing...just any word that I could think of so I strung together some gems like "DENIED! You bunch of ham bot nuggets" Yeah, I know...but it was not swearing. And then the Wings scored LOL Yes, I am rooting for the Leafs to win. I am not really a Leafs fan but I strongly dislike the Wings and I love Bernier - great goalie and positively dreamy ;-) Speaking of dreamy goalies, I see a post in my future ranking current NHL goalies on a hotness scale hahahaha No, I am not kidding and yes I actually do know the game so I'm not one of "those chicks".

I will attend a Winter Classic one of these years. Oh yes, it will happen and it will be amazing. AH-MAY-ZING! If the Flyers play in another one, which I'm sure they will at some point, I am determined for E and I to go.

They announced the US Women's Olympic team for Sochi during the 2nd intermission, it made me feel proud and inspired that these girls are getting to play the game they love on the biggest stage available for female hockey players. As the mother of a female hockey player, it is just a great thing to see because it gives you hope that your daughter's hockey dreams will come true too. I hope girls/women's hockey continues to grow because it is a great sport and the girls have the same passion for the game as boys do but the boys have far more opportunities. One day though...one day.

Ok...enough for now. Hope everyone has a happy, healthy, safe, peaceful and prosperous 2014!